is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
