Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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