Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
