dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
