Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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