hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
