hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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