I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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