I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
