How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
