did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize