No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
