is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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