The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
