you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
