I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
