yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
