I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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