She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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