I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
