fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
