Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
