I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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