We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize