Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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