There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
