how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
