Kiss
Puke
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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