This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
