absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
