We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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