I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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