Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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