do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
