i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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