I think I am morally bankrupt
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
