Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
