So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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