You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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