We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
is wine microwaveable?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
