either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
