Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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