I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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