so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
