Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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