I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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