garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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