I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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