of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
