it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
