If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
