my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
