So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I will be naked everywhere
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
