Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I need water and some morals
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
