he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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