Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
is that a dick in a sweater?
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