I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
